"“Adam had once told Gansey, "Rags to riches isn't a story anyone wants to hear until after it's done.” "
Adam Parrish is a boy who wants more for himself. That's what it all boils down to--ambition, pride, work--because what makes Adam want to overcome is what makes him who he is. One of the first things we learn about Adam is that he's incredibly self-conscious of a fray in his Aglionby Academy sweater. Aglionby Academy, a private school in Henrietta for the children of Virginia's politicians, CEOs and old money, is not a place for someone like Adam, who was born in (and continues, for most of the series, to live in) a trailer park, and god knows that he knows it. He spends much of his time at Aglionby and beyond trying to fit in with the rich crowd of boys, including his friends: Adam comments that it's very easy to tell the difference between a white shirt from Walmart and a white shirt made by an Italian man somewhere, and spends much of his time worrying over that fray in his sweater because he fears that it gives him away as different, or, even worse, as poor. Everything about him is about control, and his clothes often give that away--no matter how clean cut he tries to be, his Henrietta hick still shines through, from his tanned skin to that annoying fray on his sweater. Adam's friends can replace their expensive uniform sweaters without even thinking about it, and Adam's a little envious of it: he constantly has to remind Gansey that things cost money, but coloring this as cruel jealousy might be a little off. Sure, Adam is envious, but more than anything, he's wanting, and he'll work as hard as he has to in order to obtain it. He works three jobs on top of school (and Gansey's hunt for Glendower) in order to pay for his tuition, and scrapes by with just enough to maintain his precarious place among the rich and powerful. Not only that, but Adam also studies harder than most of his friends (certainly harder than Ronan) and maintains perfect grades on top of it, because the pressure of being on their level is so heavy that he knows he just has to be better.
What do you want, Adam?
"To feel awake when my eyes are open."
A theme throughout all three of the Raven Cycle books is that Adam Parrish is tired. He's tired of working, tired of getting up every day. Tired of not having what he can have. He consistently has bags under his eyes, either from a lack of sleep or this never ending feeling of putting his nose to the grindstone. Though Adam works hard for what he has, he often says that he wishes he had free time--Adam's longing for the easier life that his friends have is a major part of his character. Most of the things Adam wants are simple, like the ability to pay for groceries without worrying. Its not the grandiose lifestyle that he craves: it's the recognition, the want to be like them, but most of all, financial and emotional security. At the beginning of the series, he's still trying to find himself and where he belongs in the world, and we see the struggle that Adam goes through as he tries to cope with being the contradictory Aglionby boy with a redneck tan.
All this hard work has given him a massive inferiority complex, in that Adam always believes that he's going to be less than his rich classmates and friends, despite anything that they tell him. To say he hates himself is putting it lightly--having been told for most of his life that he'll never amount to anything more than the trash in front of his father's trailer, Adam's self worth is minimal, and he desperately wants to get out of the massive shadows that Gansey and Ronan cast over him. That's not to say he doesn't love them, because he does, in ways that are probably a little unhealthy, but where Adam sees his friends as wonderful and precious, he also has a hint of bitterness towards them, particularly Ronan, who was more or less the inspiration for his entire want to become an Aglionby boy, simply because he watched Ronan (or a boy who looked remarkably like him) buy all of his groceries with ease at a grocery store, while Adam had to deal with the humiliation and shame that comes with having to put things back because he couldn't afford them, even with his mother's debit card. Adam uses his humiliation from that day as a fuel to light his fire, and despite keeping his change in a cereal box under his bed, he believes that he will get better opportunities because of all the hard work that he's doing, now.
“Where do you live?" Adam's mouth was very set. "A place made for leaving" "That's not really an answer." "It's not really a place.”
The second part of this self hatred--and the rest of Adam's drive to better himself--comes from his father. Everything Adam does for Aglionby is kept silent in his home, because for Robert Parrish, going to Aglionby is terrible, conceited, and most of all, not where Adam belongs. While the fact that he goes to Aglionby is non-negotiable, Adam does his best not to flaunt it, just as much as he does his best not to flaunt his roots, either. He has Gansey drop him off a ways from his house so his father doesn't see him pulling up in an "Aglionby boy car" and keeps his Aglionby sweater out of sight at the trailer at all times. He consistently tries to hide his Henrietta accent, which is thick and Southern compared to, say, Gansey's old money accent, and he often fails at it when he's flustered or perhaps not so much in control of what he's doing or saying. He's extremely private and goes to great lengths to keep all of this hidden. His inability to blend in completely is something he's extremely self conscious of, and adds greatly onto the hatred that he has for himself and who he's been.
Robert Parrish is plenty vocal about letting Adam know his disgust for his attending Aglionby, vocalizing what Adam often thinks about himself, and "vocal" usually turns into "physical". Adam frequently missed school in the recent past because his father would beat him for the littlest of things. Being abused has made him consistently ready for a beating to come in the rest of his life, and he often expects the hit before he expects a kindness. Despite his pride and independence, Adam refused to do anything about his situation because he needed somewhere to stay, and because he refused to take Gansey's help--his pride and his fear in twin kept him under his father's roof up until the magical influence of Cabeswater (and Ronan Lynch beating the absolute hell out of Adam's dad) made him finally have enough confidence to have enough of it, but when it ended, Adam only felt deflated. Pressing charges against his farther didn't feel like any success to Adam, it just left him with no place to belong, besides with his friends, and Adam refused to do just that. Instead of being happy, it felt like another wound to his pride, and most of all, it felt like letting Gansey finally win and take him back. This shows that Adam would rather live in a problematic environment instead of take any charity, making his extreme pride one of his faults to say the least.
A secondary effect of being physically abused most of his life is something Adam's father passed onto him that he never wanted--his hair-trigger temper.. Adam often catches himself doing it, but it's impossible for him to control his temper, and he's snapped at several of his people--particularly, Blue and Gansey--and realized what he did afterwards with shock and horror. The last thing Adam Parrish wants is to become his father, who, at one point, hit him so hard that he went deaf in his left ear, but it's hard for him to stop it, particularly when his pride is wounded.
“Adam didn't look at [Gansey] when he said, finally, "It doesn't matter how you say it. It's what you wanted, in the end. All your things in one place, all under your roof. Everything you own right where you can see them."
His hard work comes with pride, and a lot of it. Adam sees himself as self-sufficient and refuses to be someone's pity case--despite how rich his friends are, he won't accept even the smallest of gifts from them, especially if they mean something. A gift, like a Christmas present is different, but if any of the boys would provide for him, Adam would tell them off, and loudly. He's been offered a chance to live with Gansey and Ronan instead of in his shitty home situation thousands of time, but Adam refuses it because he refuses to be another thing that Gansey owns. He can't be bought and even though he knows he's struggling, Adam refuses to acquiesce to any handout he could get from his friends: he came so far with what he had that to take their throwaway money is completely against his principles. This can make him come off as particularly stubborn, which isn't that far off from the truth, though Adam would prefer it if you said he just stuck to his morals. Though he'll take opportunities because he has to, Adam's never happy about it, and a massive fight with Gansey over spending time with Gansey's mother and several other politicians made him so angry that he went so far as to storm off from Gansey in a fight and go missing for a few days, worrying everyone half to death...although part of that was influence from Cabeswater and not from his own doing, but most of it was simply his need to get away from a situation where he felt he'd never belong. Though his friends are, mostly, just trying and wanting to help, Gansey remarks that he always feels like he has to "walk on tiptoes" around Adam, because he doesn't want to offend him, and set off not only that temper, but hurt his easily wounded pride.
But, as Adam would want, it's important to get a surface read of him as well. Adam is quiet and soft spoken compared to most of his friends--Blue calls him "sweet". He's polite to people, often referring to them as sir or ma'am, and tends to blush bright pink at his ears when he gets embarrassed, and willing to spend the little money he has on nice gestures, such as a flower for Blue; though he couldn't afford anything bigger, he still wanted to show her that he liked her, and a lot. Because of his ability to fade into the background compared to the rest of his friends, Adam is quite the observer, and it's noted that he's very good at "watching without being watched". He's practical and pragmatic but that's not to say he won't do stupid things with Ronan the rest of the Raven Boys; he can make an excellent voice of reason because of his tight control on himself. It allows him to be fairly patient, but it's not to say that he can't meet Ronan halfway by being kind of a dick to him when they argue, but with his background and Ronan's ability to fight anything with a pulse, it's not really that surprising. He has comebacks that can be fairly snappy, but his delivery is rarely so: rather, even his comebacks are measured and calm, like he has to think about and chew over every word he says. (He does.) Adam is also good with his hands and takes a little pride in his ability to fix cars--he bonds with Gansey because Gansey asks him to teach him how to fix his car instead of just expecting him to do it for him. Gansey is an important piece of Adam's personality, honestly, because despite their complicated relationship, Adam can and will follow him wherever he goes--it's in that that he is the "magician" to Gansey's Glendower. The magician that served Glendower came with bad tidings, however, and after seeing a vision in Cabeswater of him getting Gansey killed, Adam is constantly saddled with guilt that it's going to be his fault when Gansey does, eventually--and sooner than later--meet his end.
As we watch Adam grow, one major action changes his entire story, and helps his personality, as well. Adam's association with Cabeswater, a magical place on the ley line that falls through Henrietta, puts him through some serious emotional turmoil, but at the same time, it allows him to grow as a human being. In being Cabeswater's "eyes and ears", Adam often wrestled with how to handle the power he was given, but ultimately, Cabeswater gave him an important sense of purpose. By the time Blue Lily, Lily Blue ends, Adam Parrish has changed; his reason to feel useful makes him more accessible to the rest of his friends, less likely to go off at the slightest thing. Giving himself over to Cabeswater was a stupid and fairly pigheaded decision, but in doing so, Adam found a way to practice his control by learning to use a ley line, which speaks importantly to his need to have control of something. The most important thing for Adam has always been the ability to be his own master, and in mastering--or at least learning how to master--Cabeswater, and how to speak to the ley line, Adam is able to get some stability as well as some agency in his life, where he desperately needs the control. Throughout most of the first book, Adam describes himself as "unknowable", or set apart from the rest of his friends, using that mystery as sort of a shield in order to keep his private self from his Aglionby self. But, as he goes through the events of the second and third book, Adam gains a sense of freedom, a sense of power, and maybe even just a little more self worth.
"Being Adam Parrish was a complicated thing, a wonder of muscles and organs, synapses and nerves. He was a miracle of moving parts, a study in survival. The most important thing to Adam Parrish, though, had always been free will, the ability to be his own master.
That was what it was to be Adam Parrish."
Powers: Adam Parrish's life is intrinsically tied to the ley lines, a powerful energy marker that falls straight through his hometown of Henrietta, Virginia. Adam gave himself over to Cabeswater, the strongest point on the ley line and more or less a magical safe haven, saying "I'll be your eyes and your ears." Cabeswater thus uses Adam as sort of a conduit, in that he receives visions from it, often having to do with the state of the ley line and if it needs to be tended to. He's learning to control these dreams and visions, as well as understand what Cabeswater wants from him--in doing this, he's become what Persephone is calling "the Magician". Adam is still learning, however, and being far from the ley line has shown to be pretty bad for him. Who knows what the No Tell Motel will have in store.
Do you want a power wipe? Nahhh. Humanization: Human!
Suitcase:
★ one coca-cola t-shirt ★ ratty jeans ★ one standard issue pair of chinos ★ one hand me down aglionby academy sweater ★ one small jar of hand cream ★ keys to a car that might be a honda...or a toyota....?
Surprise? Sure! Other Notables:
SAMPLES
Network Sample:
[ adam parrish appears on the network quietly, in the way that a breath of air whistles flowers in a field, in the way you'd expect a ghost to fade away at the touch. as a person, he looks normal--he looks dusty, eighteen years old, with blonde hair and sharp cheekbones and wiser than he's supposed to be, just maybe.
he runs a hand through his dusty blonde hair as he speaks, eyes down before they flicker back up to look at the camera. his accent is tight, almost too tight, but every now and then, the soft hum of Henrietta, Virginia lulls into his words--a lack of a g here, a twanged a, there. he tries to hide it as he picks at his sweater, a single little fray. ]
This isn't Cabeswater. [ as he thought--some dream. ] This place is as real as it gets, isn't it? I just woke up here--thought I was... [ he pauses, shakes his head. ] Anyway. I'm looking for a couple of people. Gansey, Ronan, Blue, if you're there, I'm here.
And... this place. How 'm I supposed to pay for it? I didn't stay here. [ the accent slips, then, familiar, southern, everything adam tries to hide in his expression but shows itself in his eyes--panic. ] I'll sleep outside if you need me to. Get me a phone and I'll...call someone. I'm not staying here. I can't...[ he pauses, eyes hardening, flints. ] I just can't.
melocoton
